Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Couples Counseling |
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No one was lying when they told us that marriage is HARD work. The question I get asked most in my office is "Why was it SO great in the beginning and now we can't stand to be in the same room with each other?". If we take a moment to think back to our dating days, how much time and energy was spent thinking about and being with the person we were falling in love with? If we weren't with them, we were thinking about them! We were curious. We wanted to know EVERYTHING about each other and asked lots of questions to get this information.
Somewhere along the line, after jobs, kids, financial stress, in-laws, and everything else that takes our attention, we realize "I don't know my partner anymore!" and we start to believe the story that maybe we're not in love anymore. How does this happen? The answer is that we stop being intentional. We stop getting to know our partner. We all change as we get older. Our tastes in music, movies, and food change. Our dreams and desires change. If I'm not continually getting to know my husband, then one day I will wake up and not know him anymore. And that's a lonely, frightening place to be.
Many of the couples that come into my office are facing far more serious issues than not knowing their spouse anymore. Many are reeling from the pain of infidelity, betrayal, addiction, or past trauma. These issues take time to dig into and heal from. My goal in each session is for my clients to feel heard and understood. Both by me and their partner. We will walk through these issues in a supportive way so that you can have hope that your future will be better.
I use a combination of Emotion Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method for couples counseling. We will talk some about what things you are doing right in your relationship and build on those things. We will also look at how you handle conflict and how you can grow a strong emotional intimacy in your relationship that will help you feel more safe and secure with your spouse.
Here are some tools that you can expect to take away from your sessions with me:
Somewhere along the line, after jobs, kids, financial stress, in-laws, and everything else that takes our attention, we realize "I don't know my partner anymore!" and we start to believe the story that maybe we're not in love anymore. How does this happen? The answer is that we stop being intentional. We stop getting to know our partner. We all change as we get older. Our tastes in music, movies, and food change. Our dreams and desires change. If I'm not continually getting to know my husband, then one day I will wake up and not know him anymore. And that's a lonely, frightening place to be.
Many of the couples that come into my office are facing far more serious issues than not knowing their spouse anymore. Many are reeling from the pain of infidelity, betrayal, addiction, or past trauma. These issues take time to dig into and heal from. My goal in each session is for my clients to feel heard and understood. Both by me and their partner. We will walk through these issues in a supportive way so that you can have hope that your future will be better.
I use a combination of Emotion Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method for couples counseling. We will talk some about what things you are doing right in your relationship and build on those things. We will also look at how you handle conflict and how you can grow a strong emotional intimacy in your relationship that will help you feel more safe and secure with your spouse.
Here are some tools that you can expect to take away from your sessions with me:
- How to fight so that it doesn't escalate (see video below)
- How to be a better listener
- How to turn emotional distance into emotional closeness
- How to heal and move past betrayal
- How to stop behaviors resulting from past trauma that are negatively affecting our current relationships